No Time Like the Present
by MyMother
Summary: WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT. IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE MATURE CONTENT, AND YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT IT IS, THEN DO NOT READ. However, if you'd like to see stud Link go on his little Skyward adventure with Zelda then read on. Basically Skyward Sword but some characters' personalities are a LOT different, and the plot is different. Yay.
1. Chapter 1

There's nothing better than the feeling of hot water on your skin after you just got the shit beat out of you. Sure Link broke three of Groose's ribs, gave Cawlin a bloody nose, and broke Stritch's jaw; but hell if they didn't do ten times worse. Five broken ribs, a fractured pelvis, a sprained ankle, a punctured lung, and quite a few bruises. It was by far the worst fight that Link had ever been in, and he definitely would have died without the magical invention of healing potions. Since the whole incident was technically started by Link he would serve three days suspension and a possible revoked knighthood, but Groose and his cronies had thrown the first punch, so Link had some advantages.

There he was, bathing in the bath when mister bigshot himself walks in.

"Hey, faggot." Link said smugly, keeping his head up and his eyes closed.

"Hey, runt. Hows your lung?" Fuck if Link hated the stupid little tone of his…

"It's pretty fucked up, thanks to you, but at least I didn't let someone half my size bust my shit in."

Groose just mumbled something, obviously lacking a comeback. "Well, your times up chicken-shit."

Link opened his eyes and looked at Groose with a raised eyebrow. "My time's up? You beat the living hell out of me today, buddy. I get all the fucking time I want." He closed his eyes and started resting his head again.

"Don't make me fuck you up twice in one day, Link." The way Groose said Link's name he knew he wasn't joking, and Link wasn't in the mood for Groose's bullshit at that point in time. So he got out and wrapped up.

"You do realize once the gals get back from their trip and find out what happened, Zelda's never gonna talk to you again, right?" Link said holding his towel steady on his waist. Groose just turned his head toward Link and something happened. A look of utter defeat flashed in Groose's eyes, and immediately Link felt like a douche. Sure they were basically arch-rivals and they did get into a big fight today, but hell if this guy wasn't completely in love with Zelda. Link had always felt bad for the guy on that note because he knew Zelda too well. He knew she wasn't interested. He looked down, then back up at Groose who was already in the bath washing himself. "Listen… Groose." Groose turned his head with hate prominent in his eyes. "It wasn't your fault man. I started it, and she'll know that. I won't lie to her. She'll hate me more than anyone." He had started rubbing the back of his head and looking at the ground at some point, just because it was pretty awkward trying to be nice to Groose.

Groose turned to look at Link. His eyes were more or less back to their douchey way, but Link could see some gratitude in them. "Piss of, asshole." he said. And so Link did, back to his room to go to bed.

As he lay there, Link started thinking about girls. How the hell could he not? He was seventeen years old, that's all he did! There weren't many girls in Skyloft, but damn if he found an ugly one it would be the day hell froze over. Karane had such a nice ass, and that fucking girl at the lumpy pumpkin! What was her fucking name… whatever she had tits like no other! And fucking Orielle! Link had never met a nicer girl! Sure she was a bit on the flat side, but she had a certain look look that just did something to him man! But of course, there was only one true queen of the bitches. Yup, Zelda had everything: a great ass, beautiful tits, the cutest nose Link had ever seen, golden hair, and fucking legs. For. Days! Mmmhh! That was his favorite part, those damn legs made him go wild! Shit if only he could see her naked…

Link's eyes shot open. He was slightly confused as to where he was, then he realized he was back in his bed, in Skyloft, with something dripping down his leg… wait what? Link ripped the sheets off with alarm, but only after did he realize he just had a nice couple of dreams. "Well, shit…" he said to himself. That hadn't happened in a while. It was all the girl-thought last night and the lack of masturbation on his part that had caused it. "I gotta jerk-off more often…." he mumbled to himself. Link got up and stretched around, then went to his cupboard to get a shirt and clean himself up.

Knock knock knock. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Hey it's me! I'm back!" Zelda? Why was she back so early? Oh yeah, it wasn't early…

"Coming." He replied as he put a shirt on. He opened the door, and there she was in all of her bodylishous glory. "Who the hell'r you?" Link asked, busting out his exceptional acting skills that he didn't have. Of course she just ignored that comment and flung herself at him, engulfing him in a big hug. Link smiled and closed his eyes. His best friend in the world… yay. He let go and she went to sit in his chair. "You smell really nice, Zel." he said genuinely complimenting her. She smiled at him as he closed the door.

"Thanks, they were selling it there."

"Where'd ya'll go again?" Link asked, opening his cupboard and and pulling out his daily dose of healing potion.

"To one of the neighboring city-isles, what the hell happened to you?" she asked, concern flooding her voice. Her eyebrows were creased in the cutest way humanly possible. Shit...

"Oh yeah, Groose and I sorta got into a little… tussle."

"What?" she said, anger replacing the concern. "Link, they only give you a daily dose of blue potion if you were seriously injured; what the hell did he do?" Oh shit, here it comes.

Link looked at Zelda, then around the room awkwardly. "Um… how'd you know it was daily?' he asked rather accusingly to try and waste time.

"It says so on the bottle, right there," Zelda said, pointing to the obvious marker that read 'Daily Consumption Required" on the bottle. Link could tell Zelda was about to go hard as a motherfucker on Groose, so he fessed up.

"Look, Zel.. it was my fault," he said shamefully looking at the floor and rubbing the back of his head. "I may have possibly sorta-kinda called him a homosexual horse-monkey with cemen for brains. Possibly." Zelda just looked at him, amazed at his pure stupidity. "Your dad got me for three days…" he continued. Zelda squinted her eyes at Link. Shit, here it comes. Hell hath no fury…

"You're lucky you're so cute…" she said playfully, with a smile growing on her face. Link smiled as well, it was gonna be a fun day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Man you're spilling shit all over my bed!' Pipit said in anger.

"Whoops," Link said, looking down and seeing that he was in fact spilling his beverage all over poor Pipit's bed.

"My bad man," he said, sincerely sorry for his oh so terrible crime.

"You're good man, the sheets are due for a cleaning anyway." Pipit replied, taking a sip of his beverage. Link and Pipit went way back. Not as far back as Zelda and Link, but pretty far. He was Link's best friend, excluding Zelda, and they basically spent every moment they weren't in class together.

"This is some good shit… Pipit." Link burst out laughing at his own stupid rhyme, drunk beyond repair.

"See Link, this is why you can't have alcohol: you turn into a five year old."

"Listen... listen…" Link replied, seemingly trying to comeback. "You know what?" he continued, obviously on a whole new topic.

"What?" Pipit said with a role of his eyes and a sigh.

"This island man, there's something just… hsdhf… scra… screwed up about… about it, man"

"My god you're drunk." Pipit commented. Link just stared at him, obviously waiting for a response to his prior slurred conclusion.

Pipit sighed and smiled a bit, "What is it Link? What is so "screwed up" about Skyloft?"

"The lack… of pussy."

"My best friend's a moron…" Pipit said to himself.

"I just don't know what it is man. I mean when ever we go to other islands like Skyport or Airsville the girls there go crazy man." Well, Pipit had to admit Link had a point. Any other island the girls where just utterly in love with them two. Link got laid every night and so would Pipit if he wasn't faithful to Karane; but here in Skyloft, which incidentally had the hottest girls out of all the islands, it was like they were… Groose. Pipit shuddered to think such a thing.

"I think it's the small number of people." Link said to himself, suddenly oblivious to Pipit.

"Alright Link," Pipit said bending over, "No more beer, hand it over."

"Think about man," Link said instead of responding, "We just know everyone to well. It fucking sucks." After he said that it was quiet. Pipit was just ignoring Link and had started working a paper and Link was there daydreaming about the day that he would sex one of the beautiful girls of Skyloft.

Quite some time went by before Link finally exclaimed, "Well no more!"

"Excuse me?" Pipit said, now done with his paper and also daydreaming.

"Tonight, I shall venture out," Link said standing up and flailing his arms around like some big hero about to go slay a dragon.

"Link, just go to bed you're drunk."

"I shall claim the prize of beautiful, mouth-watering, women's reproductive organ on mine lips!" Pipit couldn't help but burst out laughing. Link had stood up and put his right foot on Pipit's chair, holding his left had high. "Tonight, I AM THE MAN!"

It took a while for Pipit to stop laughing and control himself. "Link man-" but he was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and closing.

This was his night, baby! Link was gonna go out there and pound some pussy! Wooooohooooo! BANG!

He had no idea what had happened, but all of a sudden Link was on the floor holding his head, which for some reason really hurt.

"Stupid fucking wall…" He mumbled to himself. But a wall wouldn't stop him! No no good sir, he was gonna fuck one of the fione ass ladies of Skyloft, and he knew the perfect one.

'Hmmm. Is this a sexy pose?" Link thought to himself. 'No no no, more like this! … fuck, let's just fucking do this; her brother won't be in Airsville for long.' Link knocked on the door of her house, eagerly waiting to pull some of his famous lady-killing moves. The door opened and there she was: Orielle in all her 5' 2" glory.

"Oh hey Link what's up?" Orielle was really cool. She was 22, and she had always liked Link. He was just such a charismatic little dude, she couldn't help herself.

Link stood there in her doorway, leaning on the post with his legs crossed. "Hey baby." Link said, blowing her a kiss. Orielle just looked at him with a raised eyebrow and her mouth agape trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Link tried to hold it as long as possible, but it was too funny. He burst out laughing holding his stomach and bending over.

"Man… you… you should've seen… the look… on your fucking… hahahah." it was uncontrollable, and soon he had Orielle giggling a little too.

"You wanna come in?" she asked, calming down a bit and beckoning in to her house.

"Why thank you madam." Link said bending low to the ground and bowing. At this point Orielle expected anything. I mean, he was obviously drunk which was illegal, but she just let it slide. The amount of times Orielle had gotten drunk before 18 was a bit high for her liking.

Link walked in and she closed the door. "So, what are you doing walking around Skyloft at like 3 in the morning for?" she asked, crossing her arms, raising an eyebrow, and leaning on a wall. Link just walked around the house admiring everything.

"Looking for some pussy, you?" Orielle couldn't help but laugh. The kid was hilarious!

"I'm not walking around, I'm in my house." He was still walking around admiring her house.

"So..." he started, "where's the bro? Not in?" He asked.

'What?' she asked herself. "Um.. he's in Airsville. Link what are you doing here?" Oriella was starting to get suspicious. Link stopped and turned to look at her and holy shit did something weird happen. They way he looked at her it just… Orielle had never felt anything like it. His eyes had a certain… gentle hunger to them. It was… really hot. She gasped, surprised at the sudden wetness of a certain area of her body and the very very dirty thoughts that started entering into her head. She straightened up, controlling herself. 'He's fucking seventeen girl!'

'There it is!' Link thought. He always got them with "The Look". He had no other term for it, but it had always worked for him. Orielle straightened up from her relaxed position on the wall. "Listen Link, you should go home. I'm tired and I want to go to bed." she said, trying to hide her very sudden, very dirty attraction to him. 'Bingo.' Link smiled internally before commencing.

"Can't I stay here?" he asked, lowering his voice and staring straight into her brown eyes. Instantly her gaze dropped to the ground and she started awkwardly rubbing her arm. "It'll only be this one time. Pleeeeeease?" he said, making a puppy face and pouting his lips.

Reluctantly, Orielle gave up. "Y-yeah, sure… but you'll have to sleep in my brother's bed." She still couldn't hold a gaze, and Link knew now was the time. He smiled, knowing full well the she wasn't going to be sleeping much tonight. He walked toward Orielle, who was standing there acting like she didn't notice. Only when Link came real close did she look up at him. Their faces were inches apart, and she could smell the booze on his breath. "Link…?" she could've just turned into a mouse, the way she said his name. 'This is happening.' Orielle thought. 'This is fucking happening right fucking now. Fuck!'

Link brought his hand up to her cheek and said, "How about we sleep in yours, hey?" Then he pounced. Like a tiger sailing through the air, so did Link's mouth onto Orielle's. Bringing her into a war of tongues, Orielle couldn't help but kiss him back. Shit now that she thought about it he was extremely hot, and she hated to admit it but she definitely had caught herself staring at him or that other boy. What was his name, Pipit?

Orielle brought her hands around Link's neck kissing him back fiercely. 'Shit,' Link thought , 'She's definitely not a virgin, that's for sure.' she wasn't kissing him like some of the gals from the other island. Orielle was going all in. Their tongues were currently battling for dominance, and Link's was actually losing. He smiled into the kiss, knowing fully well she'll know exactly what to do to him in bed.

Orielle didn't know what was happening. Never in a million years did she think she would end up hooking up with a seventeen year old, but hell if what was currently poking her left thigh any indication he was definitely better equipped than most of the guys she had been with, which was a lot.

Link brought his hands from her face down to a nice little slap on her bottom, which was, for her size, quite amazing. She squealed in surprise and giggled into the kiss a little which only turned Link on even more. He squeezed her little body against his, stabbing her left thigh with his uh, "Boomstick" which she didn't seem to mind at all as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his abs.

"God you're fucking light," Link said pulling away to go to town on her neck. This started yielding cute little moans from her as she felt ALL OVER his body with her hands.

"Only where it matters." She said as she laughed a little, looking straight up and trying to control herself. She felt him smile into her neck and then bring her down onto the bed. Huh, how'd they end up here…

Link let go of her and backed up a little. Orille propped herself up on her elbows and looked at him as he took the top half of his sexy night uniform off. What was under was a surprisingly well crafted body. He had a nice little six pack going, creating a V that oh so politely pointed to what was about to be about nine inches inside of her.

Orielle whistled at him, smiling devilishly.

He smiled back, " I know I'm fat, leave me alone I'm self conscious." He said laughing as he crawled onto the bed. Then again did the sucking of the face continue. Then, quite suddenly, Orielle realized that while Link was half-naked, she was still fully clothed. Well that just wouldn't do. She pushed him off a little and started undoing her shirt. Link smiled and started to help, but she playfully wacked his hand aside.

"Be patient," she mocked.

"Well sorry, your highness." Link responded as he bent over and started assailing her mouth again. Soon enough her shirt was taken care of, and Link broke the kiss to look at her. This was the part that Orielle hated. She knew she had pretty small boobs, and she had always been self-conscious about them. However, any fear of rejection quickly left her mind when Link eagerly grabbed her tits and started massaging them with his surprisingly heaven-like hands. More moans began leaving her mouth, causing Link to smile even wider and the pressure on her leg grow.

After a bit of playing around, Link sunk down placing his face between her legs. He started teasing her a bit, rubbing around her crotch.

"Listen," she said, obviously slightly annoyed at what he was doing. Heh, cute... "if you're not gonna do anything then just let me have my way, you've been on top for too long anyway."

"Too long?" he asked jokingly, "We haven't even started." he said, pulling her pants off to reveal some sexy hot pink panties.

Link whistled as Orielle once again propped herself up on her elbows to see him.

"See something you like?" she purred, slightly pushing her vagina closer to his face. Link looked up at her, straight into her eyes.

"God, you're beautiful." wow. You'd think that saying that in the middle of sex with one of you good friends would be awkward, but the way Link said it made Orielle feel… well like a goddess.

She stared back for a second before responding, "You ass. You're just saying that to get me in bed." She laughed as he smiled then quickly pretended to be offended.

"I'd never…" He said, straightening his back pridefully. "I'll have you know, my dear Orielle, that I have the utmost respect for women, and don't treat them like objects in the slightest!" Orielle laughed so hard that she snorted, which caused them both to start dying. Of course, Link took the moment she was defenseless and pulled her panties down, throwing them aside.

He moved his head in and gave Orielle's pussy a little kiss, before ever so slowly inserting a finger inside of her. More moans left her mouth as he started using his mouth and tongue to pleasure her clitorus.

It started out normal. Orielle had been eaten out many times before, and she wasn't one to moan when she didn't want to. But then Link started doing something, something Orielle had never felt before. Barely five minutes of this… thing, and she was already moaning and groaning, beggin Link not to stop, insisting that he please her like this until she was satisfied; and of course Link, being the asshole that he is, took his merry fucking time.

Orielle was sweating. It was awesome; no one had ever made her feel like this, and she could feel her orgasm coming. She had stopped trying to talk a while ago being that it took all of her effort to stop her mind from thinking about Link's god-like mouth and fingers and do any simple activity. Her left hand was pushing Link's face into her pussy, while her right was white as it held on to her hair. He started going faster, and she was almost embarrassed at how loud she was being. "Oh fuck yeah, just like that! Oooohhh! Fuck me, just like that! Yes yes yes yes! fuck!" her voice was fucking horse she was screaming so loud.

Unfortunately, all great things must cum to an end. Link sped up his… process, and hell was she screaming louder than ever. Finally, Orielle came. And fuck did she cum, all over Link's face… wait what?!

Yeah, it was by far the single most greatest orgasm of her life, and she was practically on the brink of blacking out, but at first she thought she had straight up peed all over his face. It was actually pretty humorous, as Orielle looked at Links soaked face he seemed surprised.

Still panting, Orielle gasped out some words, "What… the fuck… was that?"

Link wiped away her… juices? and looked at her. "What, you didn't like it?" if he had used that tone any other time she would have slapped him, but now it was just all the more sexier.

"No, I fucking loved it. But… what the hell is it?" Orielle asked between breaths.

"I don't really know," Link said getting up and lying down next to her, cushioning his head with his hands. "A guy named Joel explained to me how to do it a year ago at Skyport on one of the boys' trips up there." He seemed so casual.

Orielle was still panting but she had to ask, "Did… did I… what happened to me?" He just chuckled.

"I don't really know, but whatever it is it tastes great so don't sweat it." he said jokingly. "Although most girls don't squirt nearly that much out. I think you're what they call a "Super-Soaker" up at Skyport. You're sure no one's ever done that to you?" he asked her quizzically.

"Positive" she answered. Link looked off, seemingly puzzled.

"Huh…" was all that he said.

It took a few minutes, but Orielle finally calmed down. She looked over at Link who was still looking up at the ceiling pondering how she could… what did he say… squirt? so much. She smiled.

"Well, that'll be pretty hard to follow, but I'll have to try." Orielle said getting off the bed and walking to the ending, swaying her hips as she did so.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be fine." Link joked, smiling at what was about to happen. Orielle took a hold of him, and damn was there a lot to hold.

"Gods, Link. You got yourself a little third leg here, hey?" He just smiled at her, obviously used to hearing that. She spread out her legs, adopting a proper stance for the giant cock she was about to suck. She exhaled jokingly, and looked up at Link sexually as she started on him.

Link just lay there, with his two hands behind his head, getting quite frankly one of the best blowjobs of his life. Orielle knew the perfect combination of slow and fast, of hands and mouth, and eyes and winks. It was awesome. Of course Link came no where close to orgasming even though he could've gone one like that forever. It was eventually Orielle who stopped in the end. She had been having fun sucking Links off, playing with his dick and getting it all lubed up for for. Cause god knows it needed it.

She rose up, kissing Link straight on the mouth before he could protest. Usually guys didn't like it when she sucked them off then landed a smooch, but he didn't seem to mind. She was over him now, and could've easily slid him inside her pussyhole, but that awesome orgasm on top of all the dick sucking had worn her out. She touched the tip of Link's nose with her finger, and squished her boobs together to try and get as much cleavage as possible. "You're on top." she said, falling down next to him waiting for him to follow.

"Ugh," he said, playfully throwing his head back in mock frustration, "I have to do everything!" he said as he climbed on top of her. Link positioned himself in front of her entrance, and slowly penetrated. God was it big. It hurt like high hell the first few seconds, but then it just melted away getting replaced by sexual pleasure that Orielle had never felt in her life. He started slowly, obviously trying to adjust to the tightness of her hole. He was thirteen inches taller than her, and definitely bigger; but all started to resolve itself as Link started to speed up. It was a unique experience for both parties: Orielle had never, besides earlier that night, felt more sexual pleasure at one point in time, and Link had never fucked a girl from Skyloft. And damn did it feel good!

Orielle came before LInk, and he could feel it coming too. "Fuck fuck fuck, right fucking there Link, shit. Yeah yeah yeah, fuck I'm gonna fucking cum, right there right there right there!" So, a moment before she came, Link pulled out and thrust his hand inside her and started his process; there she went, moaning like a horny bunny begging for him not to stop, damn he loved it. It took a minute, but damn when she came he had to move out of the way. Clear across the room it sailed, along with her ear piercing scream of joy and pleasure.

Link then put himself back inside and literally pelvic thrusted the juice out of her vagina as he started to climax. Skeet skeet skeet, all over Orielle's stomach. Shit it felt good. Link fell down next to her, and they both lay there for a moment.

"You're fucking amazing." He told her, pouring all the fun he had had into his voice.

"Me?" she asked. "Alright Mr. Super Soaker." she said, getting up to clean herself.  
As she walked away, Link couldn't help but stare at her ass, swaying to the bathroom to shower. He just lay there, proud of himself for finally fucking a girl of Skyloft. And who better the Orielle. Shit she was good in bed.

When Orielle came out she was still naked, and starting at her Link got hard again. So they fucked again… and again… and again. And then when they were done, Link put his arm over her as she got into bed, and there they fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Darkness. That's all Link saw. Darkness, darkness, darkness, everywhere; and then, BOOM! A sudden, deafening flash of light; everything's white now. Link looks around, scared and confused as to what is happening. A loud roar fills the area, forcing Link to frantically look around for the source of the sound. He sees nothing.

"...You?" That voice was low and throaty, and obviously humored at the goddess's poor choice…Link wasn't scared easily, but shit if that voice scarred the hell out of him. He tried to talk, to ask who was there; but he couldn't. So he started running. Running to the door at the end of the hallway. ROAR!

'Shit, shit, shi, shit, shit, shit!' Link thought as he frantically swam to the edge of the dock. Another roar crashed into his mind, and another. More kept coming, getting progressively louder. His foot hit something, and Link tripped while he was running; and he fell, down down down, into a pit without end. A blood-curling scream left his lips as he fell farther and farther.

The roaring was replaced with laughter, which felt mere inches from Link's face. Another laugh, no a… giggle? This time it was a much different voice. It wasn't nearly as throaty or masculine. It made Link's hair stand on end, but not in a frightened way… more of a creepy way. The new voice obviously belonged to a man, however it was very feminine making Link feel uncomfortable.

"So you're the 'Chosen Hero,' then?" Giggle. "Well, I have to say, you're definitely not what I had in mind. Personally, I was hoping for a much bigger man with big arms and a courageous, yet arrogant personality. Those one's are always a lot more fun to kill. Teehee, guess I'll have to grin and bear it!"

ROAR! This time Link saw it. A giant, black, faceless being. Honestly all it looked like was a giant mouth with legs. It closed it's mouth, and although it didn't have eyes, Link new it was staring straight at him. Then it's non-existent lips curved up into a sadistically happy smile.

Link's body shot upwards, sweat covering him from head to toe. He looked around and rubbed his throbbing head. 'What the fuck… oh shit.' All the memories of last night came rushing back to him, and what he had done with Orielle while he was drunk.

Link calmed down a bit, rubbing his face and letting out a sigh. He looked around, and found Orielle by the stove cooking… bacon? and eggs? Hell yeah! Immediately Link jumped out of bed, put on his underpants, and ran over to her.

"Morning," Orielle said with a smile, still making Link's eggs.

"Morning. How'd you sleep?" Link asked with an almost mocking tone.

Orielle turned around. Whew, she looked pretty good. She was wearing Link's undershirt, which was so big on her it went down to her thighs. Her hair was wet, tied up in a cute little ponytail, which hinted that she had showered. She was smiling, holding Link's breakfast in her hands.

"Not that well. See, there was this super annoying boy who came over, and know one likes him. So anyway, he smells like shit and had wouldn't leave me alone. It sucked." She said mockingly, sitting down on the other side of the circular table and handing Link his food. As he chowed down on his rather delicious bacon and eggs, Orielle looked at him with a blank face. Then, out of the blue, she said calmly, "Listen Link-"

"I know, I know." He said with a mouth full of food. He swallowed and continued, "Last night meant nothing. It was just some fun and drunkenness. Nothing more. Blah blah blah. Trust me Orielle, I know the drill." She smiled at him, glad that he understood.

An awkward silence fell over them, well at least it was awkward for Orielle. She didn't really know how to follow that. I mean, she knew Link was good with the ladies, but she didn't know he was that good.

Link looked up from his almost-finished food, and noticed that Orielle was rather uncomfortable; so he tried to lighten the mood. "Still friends though, right?" he said, giving her a friendly smile. Orielle looked at Link for a second, before a big grin spread across her face.

They sat there and talked for a bit, or at least until Link was done. "That was delicious, man. I should come over every morning." he said teasing her.

"Psh, you got a snowball's chance in hell of pulling that shit off, my friend. Anyway, you should probably be heading out, my brother should be back in the next few hours, and if he comes in and sees you in like, with no clothes then me… in your clothes. Well, he'll flip a shit."

Link laughed. He had forgotten about her brother. He was huge, and he would probably fuck Link up if they were to get into a fight. "Yeah, you're probably right. I got classes today anyway."

"What?" Orielle asked rather angrily. Link was confused as he turned his head to see her concerned face. "Link! You have classes today? Why did we fuck last night, that's so irresponsible!" Link just laughed at her anger. It was pretty cute coming from the 5'2" women. "It's not funny, Link!" she exclaimed, getting up and gathering Link's clothes. He got up to, stretching and getting ready to head out.

Orielle came over and gave him his clothes, which he quickly got dressed into. "Um, can I have my shirt back please?" Link asked. He wouldn't wear it back to the academy, but he needed it for the Wing Ceremony that would determine who would become the junior night of his class. It was the only undershirt he owned that still fit him.

Orielle just snorted. "Hell no. It's mine now, bitch. Now get out before I call the knights on your ass." she said, jokingly pointing at him then the door. Although he had become slightly annoyed that he would not be getting his undershirt back, he just laughed it off.

"Alright, I'll see you around Ori." Link said at the door.

"Get the fuck out." she said smiling at him.

As Link walked back up to the academy, he started thinking. 'Shit,' he said in his head, 'My head fucking hurts like hell. Well, at least you finally slept with a Skyloft girl. I wonder who's next...' Because there was definitely gonna be a next. Link was like a drug addict, once he got some he just had to keep getting it.

Link walked into the lunchroom, where the academy's shocking fifteen students were eating. Of course he tried to be discreet, which totally didn't work. All conversations instantaneously halted as he walked in; and of course Link, being the genius that he is, just stood there. He didn't know what to do, if he started walking again everyone would stare and it would be even more awkward; if he stood there they'd keep fucking starting. Luckily he was saved, by a kid in one of the underclasses who started slowly clapping. Then, just like in the movies, everyone started joining in as the clap got louder and louder; well all the guys did, anyways. The girls just kind of looked at Link with a certain hint of disgust in their eyes. The only gals clapping for Link were Karane and Zelda, who were both sitting with Pipit, who was actually standing up with the biggest grin on his face claping.

Link played along, smiling and waving, high-fiving students as he walked over to sit with his friends. "Hey ya'lll." he said sitting down next to Zelda, who Link just had to notice, was wearing a cute little reddish dress with a white… scarf thingy around the shoulders. She had her cute little hair braids in, holding her golden locks in place. So pretty…

"Well, well, well," Karane said with a smug look, "My boyfriend here tells me you're the new, ahem, "Stud" of Skyloft. Is this an accurate statement?" she was obviously mocking him, which Link had no problem with. Their little circle of friends consisted of Karane and Pipit as the couple, and Zelda and Link as the childhood friends.

"Oh dearest Karane," Link responded, adopting an almost regal tone of voice, "I have always been the, ahem, "Stud" around these parts." This comment made Zelda and Pipit laugh, but only yield a slight chuckle out of Karane. She had always been the tomboy/badass of the group. Yup, the tomboy with a deliciously fine ass. Pipit and her were practically in love with each other, but it was pretty obvious who wore the pants in the relationship… Karane.

"I'm just kidding," Link said, getting off his high-horse.

"So," Pipit asked, leaning over the table and lowering his voice, "Who's the lucky lady?" Suddenly everyone at the table was leaning in, waiting to hear who it was. All Link did was lean back and smile, "I'm not really one to kiss and tell. Sorry." This answer yielded a rather loud awwww from the group as the retreated back to their original positions at the table.

"Aren't you gonna get something to eat?" Zelda asked him. Oh, bad idea.

"Well," Link started smiling.

"Oh god, what have I done?" Zelda said holding her temples.

"I think I had enough to eat last night." Har har har! Both Pipit and Link started dying as they fist-bumped, meanwhile the girls just sat there shaking their heads and smiling.

After the calmed down again, Link seriously answered her, "Nah, Ori made me some breakfast-" His eyes shot open as he realized what he had just done.

"Orielle?" Karane said, sounding impressed.

"Hm, impressive," Zelda agreed, holding her chin, "I thought you would go after someone a little bit less stable. You know, like Kina or even Peatrice."

Link was mad at himself. He didnt want to embarrass Orielle, not after the fun time they had had together. "Listen," he said angrily, "I was drunk, things happened, it's no big deal. You guys better not tell ANYONE, you understand?" They group just laughed at his anger, which annoyed him, but they agreed not to tell anyone.

"Oh ya, professor Horwell's pissed." Zelda said, elbowing his side. Damnit, out of all the classes Link had to miss, he missed Horwell's? Are you fucking joking? Fuck…

"Ugh, damnit! He's totally gonna make me right lines, the old fuck." Link said rubbing his face and throbbing temples.

"And you got the Wing Ceremony tomorrow, too." Pipit added, trying to eat his chicken leg.

"Hey, about that," Karane started looking at Link, "You'd better not let Gooseball or any of his fags move up to my class, or this guy," she gestured toward Pipit, "doesn't get sex until I learn how to cope. Understand?" She looked scary as she pointed at him, like she always did when she was trying to get a point across. It was women scary, like, "Oh sit she's fucking gonna rip my balls off if I anger her," scary.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry Karry. I got this." Link said confidently.

"You'd better…" Pipt said.

"We'll see…" she said, putting away her finger but keeping that look on her face.

"Oh by the way, Joel's coming over today." Pipit said.

Link automatically filled with excitement. Neither Pipit nor Link had ever had a big brother, and Joel was the best substitute. He was 23, and he basically taught Link and Pipit how to interact with girls. He taught them how to talk, how to flirt, how to kiss, how to fuck, and even the secret "squirting" technique that Link had used the night before. "Yes! I forgot about that!"

"He's gonna be proud of you, dude. He knows better than anyone how the Girls here are like ten times better than anywhere else." Pipit said, equally as excited about Joel's arrival as Link. "Although, you did kinda steal his girl."

"Ah, excuse me, but Orielle rejected him, remember? Said he was too vulgar and cocky." Link said matter-of-factly.

"Then why'd she fuck you?" Zelda said under her breath, although it was obvious that it was meant to be heard. This made everyone at the table except Link let out a prominent, "Oooooohhhhhhh!"

"Love you too, Zel." Link said, putting his arm over her shoulder and rubbing her.

"Ahh, that's sweet!" Zelda replied, hugging him and teasing him even further. "By the way, you smell like shit."

"I know you love it." Link said, smiling with a mock smugness and rubbing her right back.

"Psht, you wish."

"God you two are gonna make me throw up." Karane said smiling at the cuteness of the situation. Link had always been pretty suspicious of Karane. He had made Pipit promise that he wouldn't tell her about him basically worshipping Zelda as a goddess in his head, but he thought that Karane had pretty much figured it out already. She was really smart with those kinds of things.

"Well, as much as I hate to admit it," Link said looking over at Zelda in his arms, "Zelda's got a point. I smell perrty bad, so Ima go hit the showers. We'll go over to the pumpkin and see Joel after, alright Pipit."

"Yeah dude. You'd better hurry." Link then departed, excited to see his friend again.

"Awww, sheeet! Look who it is" Link said as he saw Joel get up and walk over.

"Oh man, Mr. Badass himself." Pipit said as he pulled Joel into a hug.

"Look at you two little dudes." Joel said in his baritone voice. He pulled Link into a bear hug, and all Link could do was smile. They walked over the one of the little tables in the corner, so they could talk with some privacy.

Now Joel is one interesting character. He had a pretty fucked up childhood, moving between the major Sky-Cities with an abusive dad and no mom. He was a huge guy too. 6'8" with the build of a runner: slim frame, but very muscular, with a long, crooked nose due to years of beating from his dad. He didn't really have the most… handsome of faces, but Zel and Karane and a lot of the gals of Skyloft agreed when one said that he was "hot". He was a total stud too. That's why LInk and Pipit were as good with the ladies as they were. If Joel wanted to, he could get the most faithful of wives into bed with him, not that he would; he's not like that.

He was blessed with thick, bright orange hair when he was little, but it had dulled to a pretty beautiful auburn over the years; it was short and messy, something different than Links and Pipit's long, flowing hair.

"So guys, tell me, how are things." he said as they all sat down. "I see you finally got knighthood, Pipit. But not Link… hmmm guess it's just because he's an idiot."

"Love you too, bro." Link said, smiling at him. "Ima get mine tomorrow anyway, so it doesn't matter."

"Yeah that's why he's here, retard." Pipit said as the innkeeper's daughter came and served them their drinks.

"Two beers for Link and the redhead," she said giving Link and Joel there shit, "and a light beer for mister Pipit." she said teasing Pipit.

"Hey, listen-"

"Yeah yeah," the girl said, "You gotta "look nice" for Karane, so no fattening beers. Enjoy guys." She said, handing Pipit his drink and leaving.

It was silent for a minute as Joel scoped her out. Now it's not what you think; he wasn't checking the girl out, he was analyzing her and seeing if she was any good… So yeah, he was checking her out. Joel seemed impressed, but not surprised. "Jeez, ya'll got it fucking lucky as hell here on Skyloft."

"Here here!" Link shouted, holding his beer mug up.

"I mean, fuck dude. That girls what, 18 19 years and I don't think I've ever seen a better rack." Joel said, toasting with the guys.

"Yep. It's one hell of a life." Link said.

"Too bad, you don't get any of it." Joel teased Link, knowing full well of his old problem with the girls. In the past Link would just push it off cause he knew Joel was joking, but know he just smiled smugly and kept drinking. Joel saw the different response and smiled even bigger.

"No way." he said, his mouth still ajar.

"Yep." Pipit answered for Link, "Last night, as a matter of fact.

"Was it bar-girl over here? Or your idol?"

"Har har har. My idol, very funny. No it was not Kina or Zelda." Link responded, glad he remembered Kina's name. He usually didn't. Link's smile grew bigger as he knew what he was about to say would royally piss Joel off to no end. "It was Orielle." Yes! Oh man, the look in Joel's eyes. Ever since Link could remember Joel had had a thing for Ori, but he always got rejected. She was the one girl whose pants he couldn't get into.

"You little bastard. Congrats, you fucking prick!" Joel said, fist bumping Link across the table. "Did you, ah, use the squirts on her? Hmm?" he said smiling, obviously visualizing Orielle squirting.

"Aha, and guess what?" Link responded.

"What?" Joel said, a bit too excited.

"She's one fucking super-soaker man."

"No fucking way!"

"Yes fucking way, my friend, yes."

They all just sat there for a minute, praising Link.

"Well, you have always had a thing for the tiny things hey? Isn't Zelda like, 5'4"" Joel said.

"Yup." and it was true. Link wasn't a small guy, he was average, about 5'11", but he had always had a very weird, very passionate attraction to really short, really skinny girls. That's part of the reason he liked Zelda so much.

"I don't even know why," Pipit said, "Why be with a girl with no ass, when you could easily be with one with a great ass?"

"Hey listen," Link said, "Zelda's a 32D in cup size. That's bigger than Karane, and her ass is just as nice proportionally. So suck my cock."

Pipit just chuckled, "How do you know that again?" Shit. Well, Pipit got Link there. His face went red, and he started stuttering. This got Joel and Pipit to laugh, and the conversation that night was pretty much making fun of each other for how obsessed they were with each of their girls.


	4. Chapter 4

"Fuck me!" Link semi-screamed.

"S… Stop…I… I'm fucking crying! Holy shit!" Pipit was on his side, literally in tears because of all the laughter; and Joel, well, he was red in the face, and not breathing at all.

"This fucking close, I'm fucking telling you! Son of a fucking bitch... Fuck!" Vulgarity after vulgarity, Link swore his heart out. He was punching anything in Pipit's room that didn't look sturdy, trying to vent his frustrations.

It took a lot of breathless tears, laughs, and swearing, but they eventually all calmed down. "Look at my fingers, do you see that?" Link asked Pipit holding his pointer and thumb very close together..

"I do." He replied.

"She was this fucking close, I could literally smell her!"

"Usually I'd just make fun of you, buddy, but this is just too good!" Joel said bursting out in laughter again. This caused Pipit to start laughing hysterically as well and left Link to sit there and wallow in his own self-pity.

"That fucking tease. That was my chance, man! I so could have kissed her! Fuck!"

"I think, and this is just my humble opinion of course, but I think the best part was when she pushed you straight off the fucking statue!" Pipit laughed.

"Why Zelda, why must you torture me so! You bitch!"

"Hey man," Joel said between laughs, "at least she gave you a "Falling through the clouds" insurance. I mean, it's not like we have knights for that or anything."

"I just don't understand. What even is a "Sail Cloth?" Yay, now I have a parachute?

"Come on guys," Joel said standing up from Pipit's desk chair, "Let's go on over to the Pumpkin, get some drinks, maybe do something stupid."

"That literally sounds worse than gay porn, Joel." Link said, slouching down on the floor holding his head.

"Come on, dude, it'll make you feel better!" Pipit chimed in, getting up from his bed.

"I just want to be left alone. Today's been shit… Besides, it'll be dark soon and we're not aloud to ride at night." Pipit and Joel looked at each other, and understanding flourished in their faces.

It all happened relatively fast, at least from Link's perspective. One moment he was on the ground, mopping about his almost-kiss with his dream girl, the next he's struggling in Joel and Pipit's arms. "Oh you guys are so fucked when I get out of here!" He screamed.

"Hey Pip, did you hear something?"

"You know what Joel? I think I did…" Pipit responded cupping his ear with his hand, "I… I think it's the sound of…. the friend zone?" Har har har.

"Yeah," Link said as he struggled, "Laugh it up, jackasses. Hey Joel, who was that one guy? You know, he got the one piece of ass you never could?"

"Ohoo," Joel said, obviously amused, "You are gonna sooooohoooo regret that buddy."

"You? The goddess chose you? Why, that's just insulting!" Deep, throaty laughter filled the sky. Link walked toward it and put his hand on the doorknob.

"Ooooo, not to fast there Linkypoo!" Wait… that was the same slightly feminine yet dominant voice from the other night. All of a sudden he looked down at the giant snake head he was clutching in his hands. Startled, he let go, throwing his hand in the air and yelping. The snake then hissed and morphed into a… woman; but she wasn't a woman. She was some divine being, that much was clear. She was adorned in purple and blue… somethings, and hid long, slender arms under some weird cape flap things.

"Wake now, O Hero. Follow me, and fulfill your destiny." She said…

Link awoke, yet again, panting and sweating. His lungs were burning, and it was obvious that he had not been breathing for quite some time. (And he had gotten the living shit beaten out of him a few days ago.) He then heard it.

The voice, of the purple and blue women. He ran out his room and saw her floating, yes floating, just a few feet away. She started back-pedaling up the Academy stairs, with Link in hot pursuit. One demon-cat and weird slime-thingy filled trip later, he walked into the statue of the goddess. Yes INTO it; and there, in all her teasing glory, was Zelda… in pink, butterfly footsies. And, for some reason, it was soooo hot.

"Link?" she asked, turning her head and obviously flabbergasted. She ran forward and hugged him, unintentionally pushing her breasts against his lower chest and his early-morning wood against her crotch.

"Um, hey Zel. What they hell are you doing here?" Link asked awkwardly, as Zelda shifted uncomfortably because of the pressure in her vaginal area.

"I followed Fi." she said, as if Link knew exactly who the hell that was.

Link raised an eyebrow, not at the name "Fi," but at the fact that she was still hugging him tightly and practically fucking him with footsies on. He then saw her, the purple and blue lady, floating behind Zelda. Begrudgingly, he pulled away from Zelda.

"I am Fi." The woman said, and holy hell if you heard the long-ass speech she gave Link about the "Surface," and "Saving the world". No, seriously, you guys are lucky you didn't have to sit through this. It was literally five whole minutes of unnecessary dialogue. The only thing Link could think of after was how weird it would've been if Zelda's Gay-porn-ah owl dad had been there trying to explain shit but ultimately failing. Like if this adventure were to be, oh I don't know, turned into a video game, and ya'll had to sit through her long-ass speech without sexy, footie-wearing Zelda and with her freaky owl dad, I'd literally go to the goddamned Japanese fucking producers and kick 'em straight in there close-to-non-existent-balls.

"Now you rest, young ones, but tomorrow you embark." Fi finished. She then proceeded to jump straight into Link. It was so sudden that he flailed back and fell straight on top of Zelda. Now here boobs were pressing against his back, and hell if it wasn't weird standing back up.

"C'mon," Zelda said with a yawn, "Let's get some sleep. My dad already knows about our situation, according to Fi, so tomorrow we wake up early to get stoked up, kay?"

"Ugh, can't we wake up, you know, late? Like those normal teenagers?"

She just raised her eyebrow. "Why don't you man up and carry me back to bed, unlike those normal teenagers, hmm?" Link just rolled his eyes at her, laughing as he put her over his shoulder, to her utter embarrassment.


	5. Chapter 5

**Might've spelt the word Clitoris **(and/or some other words as well)** wrong somewhere down the line, I edited pretty late at night which in hindsight probably isn't the best idea, but twatever.**

* * *

Damn it hurt. Link had almost been killed the other day, but that was like a bruises compared to this; and it wasn't even all over, it was concentrated into one spot. Link's stomach burned and throbbed and did all kinds of weird shit, all at the same time, and all he had to comfort him was fucking… pedo-hermaphrodite-with-the-weird-ass-haircut smiling at him and holding something to his chest. Looking down, Link was horrified to see a long, black sword in pedo's hand.

"Hmmhmmhmm. Hurts, doesn't it." Pedo said, and lone behold it was the fucking girl voice from his past nightmares. "Finally coming to my realm. And with what? Some false magical blade and your little whore?" Anger flared in Link's mind, temporarily subduing the pain.

He tried to speak, but instead coughed up some blood. Oh joy. "Awwww, is Linkypoo trying to liiiive? Tsk tsk tsk, if only he knew how futile it wa-" BANG! Still smiling, Pedo faded away, only to be replaced by… Zelda? BANG!

"...so hard to…. like one in the afternoon! Seriously…. don't think he's ever gotten up before five. Ever." Link's left eye slowly opened, revealing Zelda standing over him the two… frying pans. She gave a sigh and drew them apart. Shit. BANG!

"Okay, Okay, I'm up. God." Link said, rolling over and booting up.

"You gotta get up now, that hole is just waiting for us to jump through it!"

Link opened his eyes just a little bit. "Hole?"

He didn't even have to look to see that she rolled her eyes. "In the clouds, dickweed. Remember, last night and shit?" Fwoosh. It was like a hurricane. Link shot up, remembering all that had transpired last night. All jokes and complaints aside, they had a job to do. Get Zelda down to the old lady on the surface.

Link got ready faster than he'd ever gotten ready before. To say the Zelda was dumbfounded would be an understatement. "Well, I do haveta say, you look sexy in green.." Zelda joked, holding her chin and analyzing him.

"My ass looks good in anything so it doesn't really matter." Link replied, strapping his new sword to his back. "Can't wait to do that skyward strike shit on someone," Link said, "It's gonna be saaaaweeeet!"

"Stop queefing and let's go." Zelda told him. Link looked at her with a raised eyebrow, then surprise lifted the other. Zelda was wearing her training armor. At the academy, every student had training armor for Combat and Sparring class. There's only one thing, it wasn't armor. It was a special, extremely hardened leather. And it was tight. Very very tight. No, Zelda wasn't adorned in an all black, skin tight catwomen suit with high heels and sunglasses, the color was green just like Link's Knight's uniform; but hell if Link Jr. didn't get excited.

"Damn, Zel… I've never seen you in your, er… TA's.. before." SLAP! In hindsight, Link probably shouldn't have said it like he was about to rape her. It was pretty awkward walking out of the academy, but Zelda started debriefing Link, so it was more or less comfortable again.

"...and I got some potions as well-"

"Wait," Link stopped her, "The bazar isn't open, how'd you get 'em?"

They stopped walking, and Zelda gave Link a sheepish smile along with a shrug. "I figured the fate of the world is more important than paying. Plus I'm broke so there's that too… Anyway, here's you half of the supplies. I've also packed some food, though not much because I'm assuming that there'll be food down there."

They walked over to the dock, Zelda still briefing Link on everything. "You ready?" He interrupted her. She stopped talking, and Link looked at her. Despite her organization and collected manner, Link could see the fear in her eyes. No one else would have been able to see it, but Link knew her too well.

"Yeah," she took a shaky breath in, "let's go-" Link put his arm out, blocking her from stepping off. She turned her head towards him, and he pulled her into a hug. If not for her than for him.

Falling through the clouds… wasn't as fun as Link imagined. Though Zel was obviously having the time of her life. Screaming and giggling, pulling Link into a Cute-Zelda overload, which he was very harshly pulled from as the ground approached. 'Stick to the plan…' he thought, 'I hope this works...' he pulled out his… sailcloth. And voila! Just like a parachute, there landing was hard, but they didn't die. Yay.

Let's pause from the story so that you can imagine something. I know, I know fourth wall breaks? What is this, North Korea? Blasphemy I say, Blasphemy! I, the author, am doing this to express to you something: Imagine you were born with no senses. No smell, no hearing, no sight, nothing. Then, one random day, your senses are all healed magically! Your brain is attacked by a barrage of colors, things, smells, noises, everything! This is exactly the feeling that our duo found themselves transfixed in as the looked around the surface.

"It's… even more beautiful than I imagined!" Zelda said, a smile blooming across her face.

"... just like you…" Link mumbled. Yeah, yeah corny, boohoo. Shut chur damn mouths', the boy's in love.

"What?" Zelda said, to involved in everything around her to hear what he said.

Link sighed inwardly. "Yeah. I said Yeah." Link had thought about the day he would try to woo Zelda. It definitely wouldn't be sex, he knew that. Zelda wasn't just another slut he found at a Skyport party, she was a princess. She had to be taken care of, treated nice, gently caressed-

"Heyyyyy!" What the fuck! Link's hat flew off because he turned around so fast. He then got a mouth full of blond hair as Zelda did the same as him. In front of them, waving enthusiastically, was a rock. Literally a rock. He started running over to them, to which both Link and Zelda responded to pulling out their respective weapons. "Woo their, no need to get hostile, Imma friend!" Zelda lowered her bow, but Link still pointed his sword at the rock.

"Are you?" Link asked quizzically. He looked over the rock. He didn't seem to be carrying weapons, just… well shit he actually looked like and explorer.

"Yes! The name's Gorko, but my brothers call me DJ." he smiled.

Link lowered his sword at the friendly rock. "DJ? Does that stand for something?" Zelda asked politely as she walked forward. Link wanted to stop her, but he resisted and let her go forward. She could handle herself.

"I don't know it just works out that way. I'm also sometimes referred to by the animals 'round these parts as "The Rock." Pretty flattering name, if you ask me. So, what'r you folks doin-"

"Dwayne Johnson." Link said with a smile. Both The Rock and Zelda looked at him with raised eyebrows. "You know, DJ Dwayne Johnson. It works, yo."

"Did you just say yo?" Zelda asked teasingly.

"I like it, though I don't understand it." Dwayne said, with yet another smile. Link was starting to like this guy. The name Dwayne Johnson had just come to him, he didn't really know why. "I dunno, for some reason I just associated the nickname, "The Rock" with the name Dwayne Johnson." Link shrugged, and Dwayne laughed. He then went on to explain to Link and Zelda of the various animals, bugs, and odd bird statues all around the surface. Dwayne then proceeded to tell them of the strange old lady that lived in the "Sealed Grounds" ahead.

"Odd women, she is. Never gave us Gorons much thought." And with that Link and Zelda were off, waving to their new friend The Rock A.K.A Dwayne Johnson goodbye.

"I like that guy, he's nice." Link said, turning to Zelda to see if she agreed. She was totally lost, however, in thought. Then the damndest thing happened. Fi jumped out of Link's sword, effectively scaring the shit out of Link… but not Zelda, who for some reason looked like she was expecting it.

Breathing heavily, Link looked at Fi. "Master-"

"Don't call me that."

"That friendly Goron told you of the strange bird statues positioned all around the world. Pared with Zelda's sailcloth these could be a means to access the Sky anytime you need. You need only ask." Shwoop! Back into his sword.

"Okay if she keeps doing that, I'm gonna be pissed."

"Link…" Zelda said, poking him and pointing… at the old lady sitting crisscrossed at the top of the stairs all the way at the end of the hall. Link noticed the long braid swinging in front of her head. How the hell it was able to defy the laws of physics and sustain the momentum to keep moving back and forth, Link never found out. What they did get from her, however, was the outline of their whole quest: Go to the forest temple. Their they will meet the "Servant of the Goddess," whatever the bloody hell that meant, and Zelda would dress in the white see-through dress Gam-gam had given them. She, the reincarnation of the Goddess herself, would then bathe in the holy waters of the spring there. They would then rinse and repeat in another fire temple, and continue to the temple of time so that the Goddess Servant would tell them what to do there. Whew, that's a lot to do.

BUT… the set out, gladly accepting the repairing potion Gam-gam gave them and going on their way through the forest. To both of their surprises, they got to the temple with relative ease. Link was honestly expecting some annoying-as-fuck fetch quest involving these annoying little penguin-plant things who screech and hide and who have a giant, fatass leader penguin. Link's false prediction of the trek through the forest was very specific, but just think like this: If Link's adventure had been turned into a videogame, that would be the exact kind of quest the developers would insert into the game to annoy the players and "Challenge" them. Luckily, this was real life, NOT a video game. So no boredom-inducing quest ever happened. Thank god.

…

…

"Okay let's go-" Link had started to walk into the temple, but was stopped by a stern-face Zelda.

"Let's camp out for the night, it's getting pretty late anyway." She said, getting ready to lay down sleeping supplies and such. Link looked around. They were on top of the temple entrance, getting ready to jump down and head into it.

"Here?" Link asked quizzically.

"Yeah. Did you see any animals around here? They're scared of this place, or whatever's in it." she said, continuing to set up camp. Link looked around again, agreeing with her.

"Yeah," he said, "you're right. Wow Zel, those survival classes aren't as pointless as the guys make 'em out to be."

She turned her head to him and smiled. "You know Zel, that's pretty hot as well." he teased her, successfully sparking the twigs to start the fire.

"Awww thanks, wish I could say the same." Was the reply with pouted lips. Link just smiled and shook his head.

"Love ya too, Zel, Love ya too…"

"What the fuckr' you?" They were both scared, that much was obvious; but fear was good, it triggered adrenaline, which made you a tank, which was good. Well, at least according to Zelda. It was becoming increasingly evident throughout the temple that, despite Link's vast knowledge in swordsmanship and fighting A.K.A his brawn, Zelda was the brains of the operation. Which Link didn't mind. He always knew brains beat bronze, and quite frankly he was fine with Zel beating him… heh just realized how funny that sounds.

"Stalfos," Zelda said losing an arrow as she and Link went into their routine. Going through the temple, they had perfected their own little dance of death. Zelda would stay mobile and in the back, firing suppressive arrows, calling out useful information, and pointing out anything of use, which happened a lot more than one would think. For example, when Link was outnumber on a bridge, all she yelled was, "rope!" Acknowledging her, Link did his manly spin move of manliness, cutting the rope on the bridge and collapsing it into the water below. Turns out that while Link can swim, evil monsters can not.

So their dance was in progress. "Ancient evil creatures!" Zelda informed, "Two arms, two swords, more blocking. There'll always be a weak spot, go for it!" Link understood what she said as one of her arrows impaled itself into a monster to his right.

C'mon you bitch, show it to me…' The stalfos just smiled, somehow, and positioned it's two swords over his head and to the left. Easy. Link lashed out, cracking some bones then ducking under his two swords as the swung like lighting over his head. Repeating this process was easy, and the finished him and his minions off relative ease.

Walking up to the skeleton, they just looked at his redeaded eyes. They were both panting heavily, but that didn't stop Link. "Nice," he complimented her, still looking at the Stalfos and holding his fist out.

"You two," she replied, adjusting her armor and pumping his fist. Then, out of nowhere, Mr. Stalfos's bones just disappeared. They stepped back, startled. "Shit…" Zelda muttered. Light filled the room, concentrating on the middle and animating into a… chest?

"Wow…" Link said, stepping forward.

"Link, wait! You don't know what's in there."

He ignored her, bending down, opening the chest and pulling out… a mechanical beetle. He smiled and looked at Zelda. "Can I has it? Please? I won't hurt Fluffy with it this time." Can you guess what Zel did then? Yep that's it, she smiled, put her hand on her hip, and rolled her eyes.

"That, is a bigass door." Link said at the towering door before them.

"Complete with bigass lock," Zelda pointed to the intricate lock, "bigass key," she held up the elaborate key they had found, "and a bigass mouth." she ended and pointed at Link's head.

"Listen, bigger mouth means bigger tongue, which gives me more leverage of the clitoris, therefore making me a expert pussy-eater." Link replied, happy with his cocky comeback.

And of course, smiling with a raised brow was all Zelda could do. "You practice that little speech ever day, don't you?"

Link stared at her for a second, then looked down in mock shame, "It's the only way to pay my bills, lord have mercy!" Tehehehe. Yes, Zelda giggles were the best giggles.

They both laughed for a bit, but they calmed down and got serious, "You got the dress?" Link asked.

"Mmhmm," they turned to look at each other. "You ready?" Aww, she was so cute when she was scared.

"Don't worry, Zel. We went through this whole temple without a hitch, we'll be fine."

Well, the little puzzle of a lock proved to be more annoying than at first glance, but the real surprise was when the entered the big, circular room to find… no one. "Huh," Link exclaimed, looking around, "you'd think someone would be in here. I mean, this is a pretty epic stage for a fight."

"Irrelevant. There's the entrance to the spring." Zelda said, pointing to the door at the opposite end of the room and quietly mumbling the prayer Gam-gam told her to say in the spring. Link looked away as she got changed, certain that someone was going to jump out and attack. Nope. Zelda walked straight in, after a little safety hug of course, and sealed him in with… no one.

"Okay," Link said rather loudly, "Come on out. This room is WAAAY too convenient to NOT have someone in here just waiting. Come on, I don't got all day." Silence. "Goddmanit-"

"Well, well, well." You're. Fucking. Kidding.

Pedo? Pedo was the guy Link was going to fight? Come on, at least make it someone badass. "You're cuter in person."

"So you are real." Link said turning to him with smug smile, "Huh, you're a lot gayer than I thought."

"Oh it's so cute how you assume me to be a homosexual solely based on my voice."

Link just arched an eyebrow. "And your mannerisms, you clothes, your hair, your-"

"Okay! Just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I can't kill you here and end this whole little charade you have going on."

"So you ARE gay?" Link said, taking that time to draw his weapons.

"Enough of this. I, am Ghirahim! Demon Lord! A god, to put it in laymen's terms." Pedo said with a bow.

"Yeah… Imma still call you Pedo, m'kay?" Link didn't even give him a chance. He'd never heard the sound of a sword sliding straight through someone's chest. It sounded weird.

Oh you should've seen the look on Ghirahim's face as he looked down at the sword that was impaled in his left lung. Oh and his eyes, how wide they were. It all just made Link laugh. "Y-you think this is over?" Oh, he did not sound good. Link pulled out his sword, smiling as Pedo collapsed onto one knee.

"Oh no. At least, I hope it ain't over. This was fun. Besides, you're a demon lord, practically a god. Just port outta here, asshole."

"I'll have you Link. Your head will be my new left sock!" and with some coughing up of blood, Ghirahim, A.K.A Pedo, was gone. Vanished just like that. Cause you know, he's not dead yet, and he's got demonic powers, yo.

Link let out a sigh, relieved that he somehow managed to end the fight that hadn't even started.

"Impressive."

"Fuck!" Link yelled out in fright, spinning around to the source of the noise. And oh my god, if Link had ever seen a hotter woman (Other than Zelda, of course) he would've thought it was a dream. She was tan, and exotic. That much was for sure. She was clad in very odd, very tight garments, decorated with all kinds of weird symbols; all over her body as well, were there tattoos of eyes and other symbols of "importance." A pretty face, not untouched by the tatoos, and short hair, besides the long lock of it coming down on the left side of her face. But that's not what caught Link's adolescent eyes. Tits and ass. Ain't no other way to say it brother, beautiful proportions, gorgeous face, an all-round perfect women.

Link just stood there in awe, with his mouth a gape. And of course she stood there too, staring right back at him. "I just instructed Her Majesty in the ways of prayer. However, it will take some time to finish." No answer. Quite frankly all Link could do was stare at her chest, and Impa sure as hell realized it. Clearing her throat, she continued, "I am Impa, of the Sheikah tribe, and the sole mortal servant to the Goddess." she said, crossing her arms and looking at Link, waiting for his introduction.

"... I'm Link… Very, very nice to meet you." Link said, holding out his hand. He had regained control by this point, and had started being more polite. He very much wanted to have sex with this women, but somehow he had a hunch that that wouldn't happen.

"I watched you take on the Demon Lord. What's he calling himself these days, "Ghirahim?" she said the name with such disgust in her voice that she could've been talking about a child-molesting redead.

"What that?" Link said, gesturing toward the middle of the room very nonchalantly, "Psh, nothing. Guy had it coming anyway, been haunting my freakin dreams the past few days…"

"That was only the first part of your test, however, young Link."

"What?" was Link's response as he turned his head to Impa. Woop! His dick could've been a balloon it rose so quickly. Impa was now examining his body, with a certain hunger in her eyes. A hunger Link had only seen a few times. It was the hunger, of a horny virgin.

"You know of the legend that has brought you to this realm, no?" Oh, Link just realized she had the hottest little accent as well. When he made it obvious that he did not, she started walking, very seductively mind you, toward him. "Well, the gist of it is that the Chosen Hero of the Goddess, you, is to be her lover after her ordeal. But we can't have some halfwit, inexperienced little boy pleasing the goddess in her physical form, now can we? So it falls on the shoulders' of the servant of the goddess, me, to test his… sexual prowess." she growled the last word, like a panther. A sex panther.

Link's mind was mush. Here was this beautiful women, smiling seductively two inches away from his face, wanting to fuck him. Zelda was nowhere in his head right now, only Impa.

Then something came to Link's thoughts. "But you're a virgin?" he didn't say it accusingly, he said it because he was so shocked that this… virgin, was so eager to fuck this… boy, she had just met. Notwithstanding, Impa's face immediately turned into a tomato.

"H-how did you-"

"I'm good at spotting these kinds of things, trust me. There's only one problem."

It took a second for her embarrassment to go down a bit but she eventually asked, "What? What's the problem?"

"Well…" god this was awkward, "I'm not really sure if some of my…. techniques, work on a virgin." Silence. Awkward, sexy silence.

Impa straightened her back, trying to hold whatever pride she still had left. "I am still pure, yes, however I was born for one reason: to serve the goddess. And since testing you is part of my… job description, I was also born without certain… boundaries." Right back to a tomato, like a chameleon or something.

"Aww," Link understood now, "You are a virgin, but you ain't gonna bleed?"

Impa cleared her throat, obviously mortified by the whole situation. "Yes, I "ain't gonna bleed."

"Alright," Link said taking the upper half of his uniform of, revealing his chest, "Let's do this."

He was already in the nude when he realized that Impa was just gaping at, you guessed it, his penis. She was still fully clothed, and hadn't moved an inch.

"What's wrong?" Link asked, more impatient than anything.

"Nothing I- Well to be completely honest, I've never seen a penis before." Impa replied, holding her nose up.

"Don't worry, he won't bite." Link said, taking her face and pulling her down, yes down, into a kiss.

They were on the floor in no time, Impa completely forgetting that she had never done anything like this ever before in her life. Waves of new feelings were barraging her body as Link suckled on her neck, yielding out of her the most embarrassing moans she had ever heard. In no time her clothes, or whatever they were, were off, revealing Impa's perfect chest and surprisingly well kept crouch.

"Oh this is gonna be fun, dear, just you wait." Link said, lightly playing with her most gentle of places.

"Be gentle boy, this is my first time." Impa said, propping herself up on her elbows to keep an eye on what he was doing.

"Yeah, yeah…" Link said as he went to work.

Link had to admit, it was a lot more satisfying making a virgin squirt. He didn't have to work nearly as hard as usual.

"Oh that feels so good!" She said, her voice cracking. "Mmmmmm." Link just smiled into her pussy as his hand and mouth kept working. Damn, she was so wet. Link would have absolutely no problem sliding his cock inside of her when he was done here.

Impa's moans, now turning into straight up screams, were getting progressively louder and sexier. Then she did something as Link started going faster. Switching to, what Link assumed was her native language, Impa started rolling her R's and accenting every syllable, mmm, it was nice. "Yeah, you like that, don't you?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" was her only reply. Faster Link went, fingering deeper into her vagina and stimulating her clitoris like only he could, until it became pretty obvious when she had her hand shove Link's face into her crotch and screamed at him in some sexy language, that she was close. And within a few moments, voila! Aww, skeet skeet mothafucka! All over Link's face, in fact.

Impa didn't squirt like Orielle, but it was definitely a fair amount. Link looked at Impa, lying on the floor with the biggest smile on her face and with closed eyes closed, panting her perfect ass off.

"Thousands, upon thousands of years of waiting," She said, still smiling and with closed eyes, "And still I wasn't prepared."

"Well, that wasn't exactly protocol." Link replied.

"What do you mean?"

Shit, this was a bad ditch to dig himself into.

"Well," he started, scratching the back of his head, "I'm probably, emphasis on probably, one of the only three people in the world who know how to do that. Not all, ah, orgasms are that… nice." Shit shti shit. He tried, but he had still managed to sound like he was a pompous asshole.

Impa didn't seem to mind though, as she opened her eyes, "Put it in, I want it." She turned around and got on her hands and knees, poking her delicious ass toward him and using her left hand to spread out her cheeks, giving Link a perfect view of her perfect pussy. 'Doggy style, hey?'

Now how rude would it have been if Link had just said no, hmm? He couldn't just deny the girl. So he gave her what she wanted, straight down to the base. In one go he was completely inside of her, and she was excited. Impa was open-mouthed and smiling, waiting for the stimulation again. So Link delivered. Pumping in and out of her, he was pretty much relentless. She went back to moaning and screaming, and in a few minutes, he pulled out and wrapped a hand around her waist, vigorously rubbing her bundle of nerves as she squirted, again, all over his crotch. Using his new lube and keeping his hand in it's position, Link then pushed against her anus. Yep, this was happening. And you know what, Impa didn't complain. She just turned her head and shared with Link a dirty smile. His penis slid in pretty easily, thanks to Impa's "natural lubricant." 10 minutes and three squirtings later, Link was starting to feel it. The familiar buildup of stress is his groin area. He didn't moan, he never did, but Impa knew just as well. In out, in out, faster, faster, Link was moving his pelvis and his hand quicker than he had ever before, and then something awesome happened, something that had never happened to Link in all of his life.

As he thrust one last time into Impa's ass, the familiar, stress relieving feeling of ejaculation swept of him as he filled Impa's asshole with seed, to which she responded by arching her back, screaming so loud her voice cracked, and squirted all over his legs. Yep, Impa and Link both came, at the same time. Now that's something that doesn't happen very often.

"That… was… amazing." Impa said, turning to Link as the both fell down next to each other. "You're definitely Goddess material, my boy."

"Thanks." Impa and Link just lay there in comfortable silence, until Impa finally said,  
"Well, let us adorn our garments again, so that Her Majesty isn't greeted with two naked people." She said, pulling her clothes off of the floor.

Link agreed and started putting his clothes on, very proud of himself that he managed to fuck this beautiful women he had met only minutes before.

As Link clothed himself and Impa cleaned herself up, she looked at him and said, "Oh and Link?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's do that again sometime." Wink.


End file.
